By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
