Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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