Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
