Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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