your thong is hanging out like whoa
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
soo... how was my night?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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