Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
