Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
