Whod you bang
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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