i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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