I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
