I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
