would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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