Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
