I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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