i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
