Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
