Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
