hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
