STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
