You can't special order awesome
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
