So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he thought i was a dude.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We are two peas in an std pod
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
