oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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