Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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