kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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