Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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