talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
