dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
