You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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