my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my shit smells like andre
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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