Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
