I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
