yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
