You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
