Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think I won the penis lottery.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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