My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
