i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Hippo gnu deer
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
