to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
