People with herpes should wear stickers.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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