my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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