Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
