He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
