You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
