Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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