and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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