saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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