It's just like the Real World with babies
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
