Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
