"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The police scanner is talking about you again....
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
