so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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