ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
