So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
