There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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