C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
