NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
